I found You
by Grimmlice
Summary: Loki wakes up from a strange yet scary dream. He doesn't know the meaning of it, but as soon as the dream goes on, he starts to realize it has something to do with a certain god. Pre-movie. Thor/Loki stuff :D Rated M for the last chapter, just in case.
1. A dream

It was raining heavily and loud lightning bolts roared in the sky, hitting trees nearest to them, burning them down by their misunderstood and strong power. It was dark, very, very dark. And silent.

Loki walked around. Wet as a sewer rat, cold and alone. _Was Thor angry_ he asked from himself. He didn't know, not even where he was or why. All the god of mischief could see was rain, lightning, fire and darkness. And in the darkness only more darkness. Besides the sound of rain and lightning and the sound of scorching wet wood there came no sound from the young god's surroundings. Loki walked around the place not known for him for a time that felt like hours. He didn't seem to get anywhere, but he was too stubborn to stop. After walking for another while, which again felt like hours, Loki found himself being surrounded by burning trees. And not only that. He also heard distant wailing. When the god listened carefully enough, he could almost swear it was a voice of a crying child. Loki took a spurt between two trees, evading one of those trees that came crashing down from hitting him. Then he made his way towards the voice. Suddenly Loki's eyes were blinded by a powerful burst of light and his ears deafened by a crash of thunder.

...

The god of mischief woke up with a horrible headache. He had jumped to sitting position and was now holding his head with both hands, telling the pain to go away. It must have been the result from the dream he had. _I'm sure I was struck by a bolt of lightning_ he thought. Loki couldn't care less about his weird dream, not now when his head felt like exploding. With a determined move Loki made his way up from his comfy bed and to the door of his bedroom. It would take him to the chambers from where he'd make his way to the healers' chambers if the pain didn't soon stop for good.

He already saw things as two, no, three when he made it to the door. The god stopped for a few seconds, forehead resting on his left hand as he tried to reach the doorhandle with his right hand. As he finally could catch the handle, the door of his room was pulled open. Loki raised his head to see Thor in front him before he fell to the thunder god's feet.

"Loki!"

Thor kneeled down to lift his younger brother on his strong arms. Loki had fainted and the hit he received when he fell only made things worse. The older god brushed the younger one's raven hair gently. Loki was always rather pale, but now he was almost white. Thor panicked. He wasn't used to seeing his brother in such a condition and now that he did, he felt helpless. Thor knew deep in his heart how much this frail figure on his arms meant to him. The blonde tried shaking his brother awake.

"Loki, brother, wake up."

No effect. Thor was getting more and more nervous. Should he inform Odin? No, he should take Loki to the healers as soon as possible. Thor lifted the unconscious man on his arms and rushed to the healers' chambers. On his way Thor passed his most closest friends, all of them giving a strange look, but not being able to ask what was going on for Thor had already passed them once they got their mouths open.

Thor was pacing through a long corridor which would soon take them to the chambers. Before they could get to the end of the corridor, Loki gained consciousness. He was moving. It took him a while to see he was actually being carried. By Thor. Suddenly, without being sure if he wanted or not, Loki had kicked Thor to his waist. Probably by reflex, but it came suddenly enough to get Thor startled and he nearly dropped his younger brother because of that.

"Loki...?" was all Thor managed to get out of his mouth. He had stopped running and was now staring at his brother, overwhelmed. Loki was clearly uncomfortable, but he also felt awful. The worst of the headache was gone, but he was still dizzy and pale.

"Let me go..."

Thor wasn't sure how to act. He feared if he let his brother down, Loki would only collapse again.

"I should take you to the healers first, Loki. You look pale, like a ghost."

_Tch_ was all what Loki came up with as an answer. He knew, now that he was trapped on Thor's arms which were stronger than every muscle in Loki's body, there was nothing he could do to make Thor let him go. Loki knew Thor meant only good, but for some strange reason Loki felt he had to get down, he was too close. Too close to Thor.

"Thor, take me outside."

The young thunder god gave the other god a questioning look. "Why?"

"I need fresh air, not a healer. Please brother, do me this one favour."

Loki was known for his silver tongue. He said that with such a tone that Thor couldn't stay tough and take him to the healers anyway. They both knew how irritating those 'goddesses' were, especially Thor who used to hurt or cut himself as a younger boy more often than one would think.

So it happened. Loki was able to talk Thor to turn around and bring him outside to the great garden instead.

It was a pretty day outside. Loki was able to get some comfort from the fresh air and the warm sun. He inhaled the air once Thor had stepped out from the huge castle doors. For a moment the god of mischief was able to forget he was lying on Thor's arms and enjoyed the day.

"You can let me down already", said Loki as he remembered where he was again. For some reason his chest had been pounding faster than normal all this time and he did not know why. Whatever it was he could find out later, right now he wanted to walk on his own. "Yes, I am sure I can walk all by myself", murmured Loki as he saw Thor's worrying look.

Thor had no intention to irritate the younger god, of course, but he did feel a bit sad about having to let him down. It had given Thor a nice feeling. A feeling he could protect the younger god with his strong arms. Hold him tight when he was feeling down. Comfort him... The thunder god slapped himself. _What am I thinking? No one would like that done to him by his own brother, especially not Loki._

The young raven haired god took a few careful steps, still a bit afraid about falling down again, towards a beautiful pool of pure water in the middle of the garden, half covered and protected by huge and strong trees. It was Loki's favourite spot to sit under those trees and read or study his magic tricks or simply take a peaceful nap. Loki kneeled down by the pond and threw some of its cold water on his pale face. It made him feel better.

Thor stayed quiet for the time being. He took the chance to just stand there and admire the younger god's frail yet agile body. Thor had seen and been with many beautiful asgardian women, but somehow, for some reason they had never woken this kind of feelings inside the thunder god. He dug a memory from deep within his mind. A memory from the time when he and Loki were little boys. Loki had hurt himself by falling off a cliff they were climbing, even if Odin had told them not to, and he was crying. Thor had embraced his brother with his, at that time, still little arms and told him _I love you brother. I'll never let anything bad happen to you. Never._ Thor could only chuckle at the thought how serious he was being back then. He had always thought Loki was beautiful. Not beautiful like the women, but beautiful in his own, special and unique way. In a way what only Loki could be. That is why he must protect his younger brother. Even if Loki was sharp and clever, Thor feared his body could break like a frail flower if he was hurt. Thor's own flower.

"Loki. I'm going to the dining hall. I wish to see you there soon. I believe I have some explaining to do for Sif and the others", said Thor, forming his usual happy grin on his face.

Loki gave him a look over his shoulder. That look made Thor's heart pound to his throat. Those emerald eyes of Loki were beautiful and making him altogether perfect in the thunder god's eyes.

"I'll be there soon. Worry not, my brother." Loki managed to give a slight smile back to Thor as if he was saying _I'm alright and thank you_. It made Thor happy. Smile fit his brother, it was just sad he didn't smile much. But as far as Thor knew, it was always meant for him, or so he believed.

"See you soon then, brother." Thor left the way they had come, heading for the dining hall where everyone else was already enjoying their food, no doubt. It made Thor a bit bothered, because he was very hungry. Worrying about Loki that much always made him hungry.

Loki let out a laugh of his usual teasy tone. He was sure he heard a growl from Thor's stomach when the thunder god was pacing towards the castle. Once Thor was gone Loki's mind flipped. He remembered the dream he had had last night and what it had done to him, caused a severe headache, collapsing to Thor's feet, which he now thought must have looked very bad for him, and dizziness. Though, right now Loki didn't wonder the awful feelings the last night had caused him, but the dream...

Where was he in that dream?

What was he looking for?

And why?


	2. Realization

The dining hall was filled with hungry asgardians by the time Thor got there. He spotted all of his friends on their usual places at the huge dining table. Thor made his way to his still empty place between Sif and Volstagg. They all noticed Thor arrived and somewhat late as well. Volstagg had his mouth, and his beard too, full of some delicious looking meat, which made his questions for Thor sound like random murmuring. Fandral and Hogun chuckled at Volstagg who was now also pointing his meat towards Thor.

"I suppose he also wishes to know what happened earlier today", said Sif, rotating her wine glass on the wooden table while studying the thunder god who was now collecting all kinds of goods from the table on his still clean silver plate. "You know, with you and Loki."

Thor already had his mouth filled with the very same meat Volstagg was still putting into his when he answered; "I was taking Loki to the healers. He collapsed to my feet when I went to see him."

Sif had to listen very carefully to make out what the blonde god was trying to say. Then she sighed, most likely at the sight of them two big men eating like starving wolves. That only amused the two other men who had actually good eating manners compared to Thor and Volstagg.

Time went by and some people had already left the dining hall. But not Thor nor his friends, even if only he and Volstagg were the ones still eating. That was when Thor noticed it was over an hour ago when he had come to dine and Loki still hadn't followed after him. The blonde took a look at his younger brother's empty seat once in a while, as if hoping Loki would pop out of somewhere. It didn't happen.

Meanwhile the god of mischief was still outside by the pond. He was sitting under his favourite tree where he could enjoy the day and still be covered from too much sun. He had been thinking, thinking about his weird dream through and through, but even Loki's mind couldn't come up with any reason that would make some sense for the dream. He felt like the headache was coming back his way so he leaned towards the tree's huge and strong trunk and both arms behind his head. The raven haired god closed his emerald eyes, like Thor liked to call them in his mind, and tried to close the dream out of his clever mind. After completely forgetting he was supposed be dining with the others right now, Loki slowly fell asleep.

...

The view in his eyes had changed. Once he stood up from the muddy ground, forest green and black clothing all covered in wet mud and dust and wiped it from his eyes Loki saw every burning tree around him had been extinguished by the rain. Now there was thick black smoke all around and Loki's field of vision was now only half of what it'd normally be. It didn't matter. The same weak wailing sounded through the air once again and this time Loki wanted to, no, he had to find the source of it. See what was causing this to him. As he started running towards the voice, he soon noticed his movements were getting slower. No matter how fast he ran or how much strength he put into it, he couldn't get any faster. Though, he was afraid if he stopped now, he'd not be able to move again. With all the strength Loki still had in his frail body he put into it so he'd get his answers.

The wailing was getting closer, or Loki was getting closer. Either way he'd soon see what it was. It was still raining as hard as before and lightning bolts lighted the mischievous god's path. Finally it started to look like he was getting somewhere. As he ran he soon found himself standing at a huge beautiful lake. The lake looked black in this kind of weather, like an abyss, but its surface was glowing bright light when a bolt of lightning hit it. By this time the rain had washed most of the mud from Loki's clothes. Now he was only freezing. The wailing sounds became stronger now. Loki looked around, his eyes were blurred by the rain, but he managed to make out a small, sobbing figure a few metres away from him. The god took some silent steps towards the figure. The shore was full of reeds so he had to get close to see who the crier was. Loki was very close now. He even stopped breathing for a while to hear better.

_"Why-why are you so mad? Are you mad at me?"_

It was an accident. Loki had taken a step closer, too curious to hear more, and carelessly snapped a twig under his foot. That was when the figure had startled and turned his look towards the intruder. _Who are you _thought Loki. There was something strange about the child, he was now sure it was a child, and something disturbingly familiar.

_"Thor?"_

A bolt of lightning hit the lake. The burst of light enlightened the face of the child. Loki's heart flipped. It was him. He saw himself weeping by that lake in the freezing cold rain.

That was enough. That was just enough!

He had to get away. The god had turned on his heels and he was running, running away from the sight of his younger self. Or so he thought. Soon Loki noticed he hadn't moved an inch. He still felt his own eyes staring at him.

_This must stop. Please make it stop... _

"Loki! Brother, wake up!"

The young god of mischief woke up to the feeling of being shook. He was panting, as if he had been running for miles after miles. Loki looked around nervously, but calmed down a bit as soon as he felt a familiar touch on his cheek. Thor's brutish hand was gently towards his skin. Loki turned his widened green eyes to face Thor's sky blue ones.

"Th-Thor?"

the thunder god hushed the younger one and stroke his cheek gently with his thumb.

"It's okay, Loki, I am here. You were asleep and apparently had a nightmare."

Loki was sweating, but his breathing had already calmed down.

"If I may ask.. what kind of dream did you have? I came out here looking for you, because you didn't show up in the dining hall, and I found you here panicking in your dreams and.. calling my name." That sounded surprisingly good for Thor. If Loki was calling out Thor's name in his dreams it must mean Loki cared for the older god more than Thor had believed. It made him smile a bit, a warm and kind smile.

Loki was quiet for a while. "I did.. call your name?"

_No. No. No. It won't do. I, Loki, would never call for anyone in my sleep. Hopefully there was no one else to hear it. _

Loki took a nervous look around the garden. Gladly there was no one else besides him and Thor. He was, for the second time today, lucky.

"Well, as you can see, I am alright. It was nothing but a silly dream", said Loki, trying to avoid the necessity to answer Thor's question in any other manner. Thor formed another smile on his face, this time it was a bit forced. "Sure it was", he answered.

Something was tickling Thor's stomach when he was this close to Loki, staring at those two alluring emeralds. Usually so mysterious emeralds were now full of emotions Thor couldn't name. It gave the thunder god a good feeling, a feeling he'd want to get closer to the other god, to protect him and to open the lock behind those emeralds. To open all the mysteries for Thor to see and learn. The mysteries that were only meant for him.

"Thor."

The thunder god woke up from his thoughts to the sound of Loki's voice calling out for him. Thor looked at the raven haired man, as if asking what he wanted to tell. It was a bad idea. There was something unusual, something new about Loki's face. His normally so pale cheeks had a slight tint of red and his eyes were widened. It almost drove the blonde man nuts. He never thought Loki could make such a face and for him nonetheless! But it didn't take long to notice the reality was much more cruel. Thor noticed he had almost crushed Loki between his strong arms and broad chest and the younger man wasn't clearly catching enough breath. Quickly he released Loki from his grip.

"I'm sorry, brother! I didn't mean to hurt you", Thor's apologize sounded pathetic, but it was true, he only wanted to embrace his younger brother. Loki coughed a couple of times. He lifted his hand as a sign of 'apology accepted' as he cleared his throat. _Stupid oaf, _the younger god thought, his lips forming a little amused smile.

Thor felt a great need of apologising and cheering his brother up, so he decided to make something up quickly so he'd be able to spend the evening with Loki, by the two of them only.

"Loki, I was thinking", the two emeralds turned their attention to Thor who felt his stomach take a flip. "Because all of my friends are taken today..." it was a lie. "I thought maybe you could come to my room this evening. We could do something together like we used to do when we were little boys." Thor gave his usual grin after ending his sentence.

Loki was just as surprised about what he heard as Thor was to say it. It really was a long time ago when they last spent time together by themselves, doing all kinds of things what two brothers could ever come up with.

Loki had actually planned to lock himself into his room again and study the whole evening his magic tricks to get the dream out of his mind, but somehow what Thor had requested felt like a better way to spend time. In fact, Loki realized his dream had something to do with the thunder god, his brother, and he wanted to know what. Maybe it was something about the feeling he always felt when Thor was breaking his personal bubble. Loki didn't know, but he was going to find out.

"Yes, brother. It sounds like a good idea."


	3. Answers to questions

Loki, the god of mischief and lies, was amazed the whole day. Thor had invited him to spend time with him today. Even if the raven haired god wanted to believe he had accepted his older brother's request only to find out what was going on so deep in his mind that it even caused him such disturbing dreams, he eventually had to accept it was what he wanted. He wanted to be with Thor. Yes, Loki knew, for he was the god of lies, Thor had lied to him when he said his friends would be taken for the whole evening, but it didn't matter for the young god. That'd only mean Thor wanted to be with him and only him. Without his dear friends. Loki grinned.

It was early in the evening when Loki left his room and headed towards Thor's. Honestly, he didn't know what the two of them were going to do, nothing like the reckless things they had done as children, that's for sure. At least so Loki hoped. He had no intention to anger their father right now. It would be Thor's fault if that happened.

Thor's room wasn't that far away from his own, but the journey there took far too long from one to simply walk there. That was, because at the door of Thor's room, Loki suddenly started to hesitate. His hand was already holding the handle.

_What if he was joking? What if Thor made this up to fool me to some stupid activities of his and his friends? It would be like him, always complaining about me willingly staying by myself. Maybe he used the earlier situation, when I was at my weak state, to fool me into this..._

Loki had already let the handle go and turned on his heels when he remembered the look in Thor's eyes when he had requested their private evening. Those blue eyes never lied. Loki turned back, decisively he grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. Thor never knocked, so why would he have to?

Empty. No Thor. The room was empty. Loki sighed. He should've known better. Actually he wondered why he didn't turn back, like he'd normally had done. And what was even more disturbing, was the feeling inside Loki's chest. The feeling of being fooled and... longing. _Stupid Thor. Stupid oaf!_

Loki was startled, almost worse than ever before, when he was without him noticing lifted up from the ground and squeezed tight. The two arms holding him were strong, he had no hope for getting back down. Loki felt a warm, tickling breeze on his ear and neck.

"Did you try to run away, brother?"

Loki felt his cheeks warming a little as Thor whispered those words in his ear. What was that supposed to mean? Thor, on the other hand, was excited to have his younger brother where he was, excited in his mind and somewhere else as well. Loki let out a silent moan as the thunder god nipped the younger god's ear. The heat on Loki's pale cheeks was becoming worse, but why? What was this feeling he had always before thought was uncomfortable? It was still, but it had something new in it. Weird, tickling chills ran up the raven haired man's spine.

Before he even noticed, Thor had already taken the younger brother inside the room and, by the looks of it, locked the door so no one else could enter while they were there. Thor really wanted them to be alone that much? Loki sat down on the huge bed that belonged to Thor. The mattress was much thicker than the one on Loki's bed. Chin resting on his hands Loki stared at the opposite wall, wondering the feeling he still had. the strange tickling inside him and his heart pounding fast. Thor noticed this. The blonde god walked to stand in front of his brother.

"Are you feeling alright, little brother? First you faint down to my feet and now", the older god placed his hand on Loki's forehead. "Your cheeks are burning."

Thor moved his hand down to Loki's cheek, stroking it gently as he did so. He was grinning.

Without a warning Loki pushed his brother's hand away violently. "You do this on purpose, don't you? Don't you?" Thor retreated a step or two. He had never seen Loki stare at him like that, with those two beautiful emeralds so full of hate. It wasn't what Thor wanted, not like this. "Why do you do this? Do you want to humiliate me so much? Do you?" Thor didn't answer. He felt a stab in his chest. Even Loki's voice was screaming disgust. The thunder god suddenly felt his eyes getting heavy and his arms shivering. "Yes, Loki, I did all this in purpose." He couldn't look at those emeralds anymore, for right now, they were like two deadly vipers. "I should have known you'd understand my attempts wrong." Those two strong hands now pressed in tight fists.

"I love you, Loki."

The feeling was getting too much to bare. Something heavy dropped on Loki's heart. All the hate he just felt towards his brother was swept away, but instead there were now new feelings, misunderstanding, sadness and remorse, all mixed together as a heavy burden on his heart. The thunder god kneeled down to his brother's feet. He took the younger god's frail hand in his own, pressed his face on the other one's lap towards the forest green fabric. Loki could hear, and feel, his brother shed tears.

"I am sorry. So sorry."

There was pure sincerity in Thor's voice. Everyone in Asgård knew Odin's first son often showed his feelings and opinions in a radical way. But there had been not one time Thor had been as sorry for something he had said or done as he was now. In fact, Loki didn't remember the last time he had seen his brother shed a tear. He was honest and real.

A little moment was spent in complete silence, besides the silent sobs of the mighty thunder god. Loki stared down at his brother's golden hair. He wasn't able to see Thor's face, but he knew Thor was sorry. Everything became suddenly very clear. Loki never hated the feeling when Thor was near. It was a positive feeling which Loki easily confused to a negative feeling.

The raven haired man raised his free hand to brush his brother's golden hair. It felt really nice. Thor, somewhat surprised, lifted his head to meet his little brother's eyes. There was no hate in them anymore, he could see his perfect emeralds once again.

"Forgive me, Loki. I promise I'll never-"

Loki had pressed one thin finger on Thor's lips and soon followed it with his own. The sensation of their lips meeting was calming and exciting for the two brothers. It started as something little and precious, but as neither of them wanted to part from the other, the kiss deepened. It didn't take much effort from the thunder god to stand up and gently push his little brother on the soft bed. the passion between them was driving them to go on, even if both of them needed air. As Loki finally broke the kiss to catch fresh air, he was able to meet Thor's eyes again. They were full of happiness. The god of mischief felt the very same feeling take him with it as he felt Thor's hand slide down his frail body, all the way to his waist. It made Loki chuckle slightly. Soon he felt Thor's wet and soft lips run down his neck, nibbling softly time to time. Loki couldn't do anything but sigh from the great, warm feeling and excitement, his hands dancing on Thor's strong back. Thor enjoyed every little sound and move Loki made. He could feel the younger god's excitement as he unclothed the frail flower under him, in his protection.

"What are you afraid of, god of thunder?"

Thor stared down in the middle of undressing himself. He wasn't sure if it was just a dream, for he had the most beautiful and precious being on his bed, under him. Finally he had made it, he had found out what was behind those mysterious emeralds which were now shining vivid light. The older god gave a heart warming smile to the younger god. Thor was happier than ever.

"Please, brother, be gentle."

He had no intention to disobey. After all, he was holding a flower, his flower. And he was going to protect it. Give all of him just to be happy with his beloved. He would not dare to hurt this flower anymore. In fear those emeralds would break.

...

_Where am I? What is happening? Where is Loki?_

Thor was standing in the rain, cold raindrops falling down his golden hair and little face. He was afraid, afraid of losing his brother somewhere in the rain. Without thinking twice, the little thunder god decided to go look for his brother. Loki was going to get sick in such weather!

He ran, ran for a time that felt like hours.

_What?_

Thor heard a sound of a wood snapping. And after that someone's voice calling. Calling his name. Without hesitation the young god took his final spurt towards the lake nearby. Decisively he pushed the long and wet reeds out of his way as he rushed towards the shore. Finally he reached his brother. Sitting there on the wet and muddy sand, all alone. Their eyes met. While Loki's eyes were in tears and full of fear, Thor smiled. He reached to his little brother.

_"I finally found you."_

A bolt of lightning hit the lake.

Thor couldn't see anything. He woke up in sweat and startled. For a while he wasn't sure where he was, until his eyes got used to the dark of the night. He was sitting on his bed. _Loki_. He remembered the raven haired god and quickly turned to look down next to him. Thor could make out a frail figure sleeping next to him. Pressing his hand on the sleeping figure's shoulder and turning him to face him, Thor let out a sigh of relief. He moved his hand on Loki's cheek, only to realize the tears falling down the sleeping man's face. _Loki, are you crying?_

The younger god woke to the touch of the thunder god. Raising his tired hand to hold Thor's hand that was resting on his cheek, he smiled.

"I found you."


End file.
